Pica, mother of St. Francis

The story I've always heard about St. Francis is that he was raised rich, and then later in life he became a Christian, sold all he had, and gave it to the poor.  This is, indeed, the basic plotline.  However, there is another detail...

Francis's mother was a Christian, and her name was Pica.  She and her nurse were his strongest influences, as was the custom, until he was 7 or 8 years old.  In that time, she taught him the lives of the saints, Greek and Roman legends, and music.  Before he went to bed at night she made sure he said his prayers, and she took care to instill within him "cheerfulness, generosity, courtesy, and deference to his elders" (Adrian House - a professor at Oxford, Francis of Assisi: An Extraordinary Life, [Mahwah: Hidden Spring] 2000, 17).

At the same time, Pica and her husband were wealthy and took care to give Francis the best of everything.  He had toys galore... while down below in the valley was a leper colony in which lived the poorest of the poor.  I have to say, I identify with this.  I've tried to hold back the number of toys my daughter has, but then I look around her room and I'm amazed.  I think, "Oh, this toy will help her learn the alphabet!" - although she already has 3 other toys that do that - and all the while, not too far away, people sit hungry, homeless, and hopeless.  I identify with Pica, living the life of someone who has an abundance, caring desperately about my child and in so doing perhaps losing sight of reality....

This part of his upbringing really did hurt Francis, and he is remembered to have absorbed these more worldly values - a fondness for fine things, carelessness, and a self-centered focus.  Even still, his mother is remembered to have said, in reply to inquiries regarding how she felt about his excesses, "Through grace he will become a child of God" (House 52).  

In these stories, we see two sides of Pica - Pica, the mother who was a Christian who longed for her son to become "a child of God" and who strove toward that end.  And Pica, the mother who lived a life of luxury and, through enjoyable participation in the culture that surrounded them, instilled such values in her son.  Pica is not alone.  As we all are changed more and more into the image of Christ, there remains in each of us something that needs to be changed today... and today we are raising our children.

And so I derive a lot of hope from Pica, because she was not perfect, and yet, through grace, her son did become a child of God.  I think what is most helpful for me here is the reminder that I, the mom, am not the Savior.  There is a Savior who is far stronger than all of our weaknesses as parents.  At the same time, also helpful is the warning that the worldly part of his upbringing really did affect him.  Whenever I allow myself to do something I know is wrong, I am tempted to close my eyes to the effect this may have on my daughter.  But that is silly.  Sin breeds sin.  Insofar as I desire my daughter to live in the freedom of Christ, I, too, must continue all the more to strive everyday to live into that freedom.

Thank God for Pica, an imperfect pilgrim, out of whom God raised up St. Francis of Assisi.